My sister-in-law could not make it to her mother’s funeral.
A terrible sadness for her.
And for us.
But, she phoned.
To assure herself her mother’s wishes were fulfilled.
And her own.
One was to fill in the gravesite.
Completely cover the casket.
Before leaving the cemetery.
A laborious task.
Set about by grandchildren.
After the rest of us shoveled earth three times into the cavity.
That night, I protested the effort.
Since a backhoe was ready to complete the work.
My youngest son mused,
I guess Grandmom wanted to be cared about. Our muscle aches are proof of caring.
I nodded.
He went on, but a person could shovel and not really care.
True, I acknowledged.
Then he added, conversely, a person could watch the backhoe fill the hole, and care a lot.
I listened to his reasoning.
Thought it sensible and wise.
Wished my in-laws could understand.
Change the mandate, compromise.
Lynn Benjamin
February 7, 2023
