Expectations are often the crux of conflicts.
Between parents and children.
Teachers and students.
Committed couples.
All of us harbor them.
How could we have order without them?
How would society function?
We teach children to follow rules.
To become good citizens.
Teachers expect performance.
Partners expect the other to do a fair share.
And yet, how often do people complain that expectations stifle?
Thwart communication?
Sincere back and forth?
Is it possible to enter a space without expectation?
Desirable?
I don’t know.
For, I think, everyone has expectations.
Perhaps we can lower them.
Like diminishing intensity on a dimmer switch.
To soften the light.
Avoid disappointment.
But, all parties possess them.
Those wanting them lowered.
Those lowering.
So, maybe it’s more a matter of awareness.
Noticing when expectations exceed reason.
In truth, I rely on expectations.
I like to know what’s expected of me.
What I can expect of others.
Of myself.
Could I accept an invitation to abandon expectations?
I don’t think I could or would.
That invitation, I’d decline.
Just tell me yours; I’ll tell you mine.
Then we can be genuine.
Lynn Benjamin
April 15, 2024