Why do gifts, especially when unexpected, affect me?
Sending frissons of pleasure up and down my spine?
What are these sensations?
Desire to smile, cry, hug all at once.
Flashes of emotional fireworks seeking escape.
To display connection.
Glee, gratitude for thoughtfulness.
Balm of being remembered.
Cared about.
In this ever-increasing indifferent world.
Who anticipated fancy nuts from Luxembourg?
Chocolate ground by you in Ecuador?
To await me in New York?
Tokens telling me you know who I am.
What would awaken my senses, curiosity.
Transmit delight.
So much so, I leave them undisturbed.
To continue the bliss.
Before I dip in, sample.
Is it possible I feel this intensity more with age?
Having lost parents whose bond was unshakable?
For me, I think that true.
The sense of feeling special is a prize,
whether in the form of gift or time spent.
Like spotting fields of sunflowers,
billowy, buttery, thick, abundant.
Lynn Benjamin
April 11, 2024