It fills me with song.
To see a pair of Sketchers, size four.
Next to our sneakers on the floor.
Sign that Elias is here, a day or two.
While his mother davens in New City.
He, off from school for Shavuot.
Holiday when Moses received the Ten Commandments.
Marking my own confirmation, sixty years ago.
Right here at Adath Jeshurun, Elkins Park.
The first time reading a poem I composed.
To an entire congregation.
Feeling excitement, anticipation, vulnerability.
A rush, sharing thoughts with others.
Meditation on time, hope, truth, death, life.
Being acknowledged.
By friends, family, rabbi.
My daughter, one year short of cantorial degree, surprised.
When I told her I hold dear this holiday.
For she, at semester’s conclusion, ready to move past it to summer.
Until hired as guest chazan.
Preparing herself to chant.
For two lunar days.
In a blink, it became important to her, too.
This spring holiday, completion of the counting of the Omer.
Unexpected revelation between my daughter and me.
A story I wished I could tell my mother.
Along with appreciation for the party she made me.
At fifteen, after the Shavuot service.
Recognizing me.
Letting me know I belong.
To a larger cosmology.
Something I didn’t know then to thank her for.
Though she knew how to give.
So, I’ll scatter seeds of gratitude,
beseeching she’ll forgive.
Lynn Benjamin
June 12, 2024
Daven is the Yiddish word meaning to chant the Jewish liturgy or pray.
Chazan is a cantor in a synagogue.
The counting of the Omer is a period of 49 days from the second day of Passover until the first day of Shavuot. During this time, marriage festivities are prohibited.
